A person who is neurotic persistently worries about the negative. They think about what catastrophic event could happen in the future for somebody with borderline personality disorder abandonment issues are severe. One of the hallmarks of somebody with BPD is that they’re afraid their loved ones will leave them. They may perseverate on this idea.
Don’t leave me
BPD is challenging for people because of those who live with the disorder struggle with intense emotions. One reason is that they have trouble with their emotional regulation sometimes explode at people they love. These outbursts are unintentional, but they can take a toll on relationships, which leads us to another point: people with BPD struggle with maintaining long-term relationships. No wonder they’re worried about being abandoned. They’ve had experiences in the past where friends left them possibly because of their illness.
Men with Borderline
Men with Borderline Personality Disorder may display their symptoms differently from women. Part of the reason for the difference in symptoms is that society discourages men from displaying outward emotions, particularly depression. A man may be more likely to have angry outbursts because anger is an “acceptable emotion” for a man to have. I know a man who has Borderline who struggles with anger. He worries about the people he loves getting into accidents or dying. These obsessive thoughts are an example of him displaying neurotic behavior. He wants to stop worrying, but he doesn’t feel like he can. The obsessions preoccupy his mind to the point where he becomes irritable. He bottles up his emotions, and his partner tries to get through to him. She asks why he’s quiet. She’s worried, and wants to help, and doesn’t leave him alone. Eventually, he explodes in anger at her. She’s shocked, but it’s not the first time it’s happened.
Anger and Neuroticism
The example I gave you shows how anger is the after-effect of neurotic behavior. The man doesn’t want to hurt his partner, but his anxiety aggravates him. He takes out the agitation and anger on his partner because she’s the closest person to him. However, after he explodes, he starts to worry. Is she going to leave me? His abandonment issues come to the surface, and he’s afraid that his temper alienated her. His anxiety peaks and he starts asking if she’s upset with him. She’s quiet now, and he can’t stop worrying that she’s mad. His neurotic behavior annoys her, and after multiple times reassuring him, she snaps “I’m not mad at you.” He leaves the issue alone for now.
Neurotic behavior puts a strain on relationships
Since people with Borderline already struggle with maintaining relationships, if they’re neurotic it becomes even harder for them. They want to please their partner and find the need to consistently check-in. They may appear as if they’re attention-seeking. Their behavior may come across as needy, but it’s coming from insecurity. It may be their abandonment issues, or it could have to do with their need for validation due to a poor self- image.
Not everyone with BPD is neurotic
These are some examples of how neurotic behavior manifests in those with BPD, but not every person with the diagnosis engages in these actions. If you have Borderline and find that you’re struggling with neuroses, don’t be afraid to reach out to a therapist for help. One excellent option is working with an online counselor. You don’t have to manage your obsessions by yourself, and that’s why mental health professionals exist. By seeing a therapist, you’ll improve your relationships with others and your self-esteem. Therapy changes lives, and it can transform yours.
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