“How do I do this, and how can I make it to class if I cannot even make it through the front door. Open the car door, turn off the car, make sure you have wallet, keys, and hopeful demeanor.”
The drive was pleasant, uneventful, and bubonic plague free. As I am pulling into the parking lot I am lost in regards to where to park there is visitor parking, staff, and student. Am I visitor or student yet. I notice in one parking lot green stickers on the back windows of cars marked student. The visitor parking lot has no back sticker so I assume, visitor it is.
I take the second right into the parking lot and find a spot easily enough.
Now comes the negotiation of leaving my safe and secure car. The leather seats are almost telling me to stay. Reminding me that the seat heater can just be turned on with the flick of my right index finger. I play a few seconds of a song that inspires me to make change in my own life. And let the lyrics swell inside my over sized chest.
I only know one entrance into the local college and I am always being told how the college is always making changes.
So for those that do not know these moments are complete hell for us that have social anxiety. There is so many things that can go wrong and new people to meet. Also more worries to have and fears to overcome. Just not knowing who we are talking to can be defeating let alone not knowing which door to even use. Lord know I do not want to ask anyone because that would be another forced interaction with people.
(UGH) How do I do this, and how can I make it to class if I cannot even make it through the front door. Open the car door, turn off the car, make sure you have wallet, keys, and hopeful demeanor.
I am looking around the school and seeing no one my age in the halls. They are all far younger and much better dressed, even the poorly dressed ones make me look like a broken man embroiled in his own despair. I have to take one step in front of the other, and ask someone anyone if I am in the right place.